








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 209 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 353 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 288 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9136 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,471 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8599 | 32% |
| Smokes | 7910 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5566 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4396 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,425,385 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 120 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Resistance | 62% | 86 |
| #2 | Torq ツ | 54% | 428 |
| #3 | arctos | 52% | 58 |
| #4 | Parm-EZ-on-Yo-Sleezy | 50% | 58 |
| #5 | Special Agent Dale Cooper | 49% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Resistance | 62% | 86 |
| #2 | Torq ツ | 54% | 428 |
| #3 | arctos | 52% | 58 |
| #4 | Parm-EZ-on-Yo-Sleezy | 50% | 58 |
| #5 | Special Agent Dale Cooper | 49% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Torq ツ | 15 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Resistance | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Special Agent Dale Cooper | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Parm-EZ-on-Yo-Sleezy | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | arctos | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Torq ツ | 669 | 0.08 | 16 min |
| #2 | Special Agent Dale Cooper | 218 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Resistance | 119 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Parm-EZ-on-Yo-Sleezy | 102 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | arctos | 96 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zhadius | +2.16 | 64 | 66 |
| #2 | arctos | +0.76 | 69 | 64 |
| #3 | Special Agent Dale Cooper | -0.13 | 68 | 58 |
| #4 | Torq ツ | -0.63 | 61 | 66 |
| #5 | Parm-EZ-on-Yo-Sleezy | -1.03 | 42 | 59 |





