








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 640 matches | ||
| Faceit | 96 matches | ||
| Wingman | 52 matches | ||
| Esplay | 51 matches | 1,965 | |
| Competitive Vertigo | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




77 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12397 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,557 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12368 | 30% |
| Smokes | 11039 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 9140 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 8010 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,160,762 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2819 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAzy-.- | 59% | 125 |
| #2 | Ηaschbitɛn ⍩ | 57% | 370 |
| #3 | ♛ BiG | 57% | 53 |
| #4 | 1hp | 56% | 198 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAzy-.- | 59% | 125 |
| #2 | Ηaschbitɛn ⍩ | 57% | 370 |
| #3 | ♛ BiG | 57% | 53 |
| #4 | 1hp | 56% | 198 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ηaschbitɛn ⍩ | 20 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | 1hp | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | MAzy-.- | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | ♛ BiG | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ηaschbitɛn ⍩ | 972 | 0.13 | 23 min |
| #2 | MAzy-.- | 806 | 0.32 | 21 min |
| #3 | 1hp | 579 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #4 | ♛ BiG | 224 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAzy-.- | +3.42 | 84 | 76 |
| #2 | M2☻ | +2.43 | 82 | 68 |
| #3 | Ηaschbitɛn ⍩ | +0.17 | 74 | 62 |
| #4 | ♛ BiG | -1.82 | 71 | 76 |
| #5 | 1hp | -1.85 | 58 | 64 |





