








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1220 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 682 matches | ||
| Faceit | 191 matches | ||
| Esplay | 75 matches | 1,971 | |
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9265 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,420 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11037 | 27% |
| Smokes | 12948 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 8602 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 8833 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,173,856 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1214 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ♛ BiG | 51% | 124 |
| #7 | 1hp | 50% | 410 |
| #8 | ATEL | 50% | 76 |
| #9 | RauL | 50% | 112 |
| #10 | MaxFire | 48% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M2☻ | 1453 | 0.19 | 36 min |
| #2 | 1hp | 1333 | 0.15 | 34 min |
| #3 | MAzy-.- | 1284 | 0.31 | 35 min |
| #4 | ♛ BiG | 473 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #5 | HumanEdshotMachine | 340 | 0.13 | 10 min |





