








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 54 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1030 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,549 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 978 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1241 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 543 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 787 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $448,431 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 472 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eichel Jürgenberg | 52% | 23 |
| #2 | Skillerx | 41% | 105 |
| #3 | Milkbottle | 41% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eichel Jürgenberg | 52% | 23 |
| #2 | Skillerx | 41% | 105 |
| #3 | Milkbottle | 41% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milkbottle | 24 | 0.0120 |
| #2 | Eichel Jürgenberg | 10 | 0.0214 |
| #3 | Skillerx | 4 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milkbottle | 328 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | Eichel Jürgenberg | 154 | 0.33 | 3 min |
| #3 | Skillerx | 74 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eichel Jürgenberg | +4.41 | 64 | 64 |
| #2 | Milkbottle | -0.08 | 37 | 43 |
| #3 | Skillerx | -0.25 | 24 | 30 |
| #4 | VfL Forscher - Tamiro | -0.57 | 29 | 51 |





