








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1616 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 258 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9911 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 46,595 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15595 | 33% |
| Smokes | 12788 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 8975 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 9237 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,175,662 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 761 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Supreme Leader | 63% | 64 |
| #2 | Melcers | 58% | 173 |
| #3 | Cip0 | 52% | 89 |
| #4 | Monolith | 51% | 442 |
| #5 | Fūns | 51% | 304 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Monolith | 51% | 442 |
| #5 | Fūns | 51% | 304 |
| #6 | Wiffu | 49% | 171 |
| #7 | buu | 49% | 156 |
| #8 | Static | 48% | 233 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fūns | 30 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Monolith | 22 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Melcers | 12 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Wiffu | 11 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | buu | 6 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monolith | 970 | 0.11 | 22 min |
| #2 | Static | 625 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #3 | Fūns | 552 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #4 | buu | 349 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #5 | Melcers | 316 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monolith | +2.95 | 63 | 53 |
| #2 | yeet | +1.32 | 79 | 77 |
| #3 | Melcers | +0.70 | 64 | 64 |
| #4 | Fūns | -0.37 | 44 | 60 |
| #5 | Supreme Leader | -1.77 | 51 | 73 |





