








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1431 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 197 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 179 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 82 matches | ||
| Wingman | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 159 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9215 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,564 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4669 | 18% |
| Smokes | 8755 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 7703 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5437 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,686,941 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 89 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Melcers | 60% | 112 |
| #2 | Supreme Leader | 59% | 101 |
| #3 | Cip0 | 53% | 66 |
| #4 | Fūns | 52% | 347 |
| #5 | Static | 52% | 206 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Fūns | 52% | 347 |
| #5 | Static | 52% | 206 |
| #6 | yeet | 51% | 442 |
| #7 | Wiffu | 41% | 108 |
| #8 | buu | 39% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yeet | 30 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Fūns | 21 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Supreme Leader | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Static | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Melcers | 4 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yeet | 2214 | 0.26 | 65 min |
| #2 | Fūns | 570 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #3 | Static | 544 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #4 | Supreme Leader | 311 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #5 | buu | 206 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monolith | +3.27 | 62 | 53 |
| #2 | yeet | +1.04 | 78 | 78 |
| #3 | Melcers | +0.33 | 65 | 62 |
| #4 | Fūns | -0.45 | 44 | 61 |
| #5 | Supreme Leader | -1.71 | 52 | 76 |





