








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 449 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2119 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,045 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1528 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1315 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 207 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 995 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $925,975 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ingots | 55% | 132 |
| #2 | 𐌁ᖇ𐌄𐌶𐌙 | 54% | 57 |
| #3 | ꙰. | 53% | 79 |
| #4 | avossviesturs | 49% | 65 |
| #5 | Planty | 49% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | avossviesturs | 49% | 65 |
| #5 | Planty | 49% | 134 |
| #6 | bernots20 | 46% | 127 |
| #7 | Just1human | 46% | 63 |
| #8 | Karlisons | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ingots | 19 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | Planty | 16 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | bernots20 | 15 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Just1human | 11 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | ꙰. | 6 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ingots | 361 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | bernots20 | 331 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | 𐌁ᖇ𐌄𐌶𐌙 | 264 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #4 | ꙰. | 200 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Planty | 173 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FunnyV_46 | +3.40 | 85 | 57 |
| #2 | Karlisons | +2.17 | 58 | 78 |
| #3 | avossviesturs | +0.26 | 50 | 44 |
| #4 | ingots | -0.27 | 49 | 52 |
| #5 | ꙰. | -0.46 | 50 | 47 |





