








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 54 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1914 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,854 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1837 | 38% |
| Smokes | 762 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1131 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1124 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $252,471 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 641 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaxEvils | 93% | 15 |
| #2 | soman 武器 | 90% | 10 |
| #3 | Triton | 77% | 13 |
| #4 | Bustxd | 73% | 52 |
| #5 | Gully | 72% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Triton | 77% | 13 |
| #4 | Bustxd | 73% | 52 |
| #5 | Gully | 72% | 54 |
| #6 | CheezMonkey | 71% | 102 |
| #7 | Anithe✯ | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CheezMonkey | 12 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Bustxd | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Gully | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | soman 武器 | 1 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gully | 234 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #2 | CheezMonkey | 194 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Bustxd | 155 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | soman 武器 | 22 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Triton | 16 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slitathroat. | +5.60 | 96 | 57 |
| #2 | MaxEvils | +1.69 | 64 | 43 |
| #3 | CheezMonkey | +1.52 | 81 | 28 |
| #4 | Bustxd | +1.12 | 75 | 50 |
| #5 | Gully | +0.43 | 77 | 51 |





