








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 405 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 717 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 107 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8634 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,856 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3717 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3473 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3119 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1547 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,349,044 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 448 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShayShay | 50% | 111 |
| #2 | Butter | 50% | 100 |
| #3 | Ash | 45% | 128 |
| #4 | Sριԃҽɾ | 44% | 129 |
| #5 | Cashew | 43% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShayShay | 50% | 111 |
| #2 | Butter | 50% | 100 |
| #3 | Ash | 45% | 128 |
| #4 | Sριԃҽɾ | 44% | 129 |
| #5 | Cashew | 43% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sριԃҽɾ | 14 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Cashew | 8 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | ShayShay | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Butter | 4 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShayShay | 351 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | Sριԃҽɾ | 262 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Butter | 258 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | Ash | 159 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | Cashew | 91 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vegeta | +1.25 | 56 | 32 |
| #2 | Ash | +1.05 | 67 | 42 |
| #3 | Cashew | +0.72 | 44 | 45 |
| #4 | ShayShay | +0.66 | 35 | 72 |
| #5 | Butter | -0.88 | 39 | 45 |





