








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 259 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 358 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2355 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,474 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2220 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4228 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 2556 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2470 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $968,581 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 929 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShayShay | 47% | 68 |
| #2 | Butter | 45% | 117 |
| #3 | Vegeta | 44% | 129 |
| #4 | Ash | 41% | 100 |
| #5 | Lucius | 40% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Butter | 45% | 117 |
| #3 | Vegeta | 44% | 129 |
| #4 | Ash | 41% | 100 |
| #5 | Lucius | 40% | 70 |
| #6 | U Wish | 26% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lucius | 12 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | Butter | 9 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Vegeta | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | ShayShay | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | U Wish | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Butter | 292 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | Vegeta | 261 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | ShayShay | 191 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | U Wish | 114 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ash | 98 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShayShay | +1.60 | 38 | 73 |
| #2 | Vegeta | +1.59 | 57 | 30 |
| #3 | Ash | +1.13 | 70 | 36 |
| #4 | Lucius | +0.70 | 41 | 53 |
| #5 | Butter | -0.15 | 37 | 45 |





