










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 218 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




75 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3789 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,580 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3770 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3985 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3774 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3051 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,314,273 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 967 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sniffcock | 53% | 217 |
| #2 | Sky ♛ | 52% | 69 |
| #3 | Jimi Skutt #fuck7side #mway | 52% | 245 |
| #4 | ede | 50% | 202 |
| #5 | ray the asian boy | 47% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Jimi Skutt #fuck7side #mway | 52% | 245 |
| #4 | ede | 50% | 202 |
| #5 | ray the asian boy | 47% | 88 |
| #6 | Uppa cs Natalia | 44% | 82 |
| #7 | Purkka Marko | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ede | 53 | 0.0128 |
| #2 | Uppa cs Natalia | 32 | 0.0192 |
| #3 | Jimi Skutt #fuck7side #mway | 29 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | ray the asian boy | 21 | 0.0111 |
| #5 | Sniffcock | 20 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ede | 1051 | 0.25 | 29 min |
| #2 | Sniffcock | 929 | 0.21 | 23 min |
| #3 | Jimi Skutt #fuck7side #mway | 436 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #4 | Sky ♛ | 352 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #5 | ray the asian boy | 211 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ede | +1.89 | 64 | 70 |
| #2 | Sniffcock | +1.51 | 66 | 63 |
| #3 | Uppa cs Natalia | +1.47 | 67 | 54 |
| #4 | Sky ♛ | +1.07 | 78 | 75 |
| #5 | wZade | +0.64 | 57 | 66 |





