










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1554 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 386 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 307 matches | ||
| Wingman | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




128 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11147 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,100 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13141 | 34% |
| Smokes | 9315 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 9118 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7526 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,468,863 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1687 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uppa cs Natalia | 55% | 128 |
| #2 | wZade | 53% | 217 |
| #3 | Jimi Skutt #fuck7side #mway | 53% | 701 |
| #4 | ede | 51% | 406 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uppa cs Natalia | 55% | 128 |
| #2 | wZade | 53% | 217 |
| #3 | Jimi Skutt #fuck7side #mway | 53% | 701 |
| #4 | ede | 51% | 406 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ede | 113 | 0.0138 |
| #2 | Jimi Skutt #fuck7side #mway | 73 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Uppa cs Natalia | 59 | 0.0231 |
| #4 | wZade | 36 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ede | 2026 | 0.25 | 55 min |
| #2 | Jimi Skutt #fuck7side #mway | 1081 | 0.08 | 24 min |
| #3 | wZade | 474 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #4 | Uppa cs Natalia | 184 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sniffcock | +2.54 | 70 | 64 |
| #2 | ede | +2.01 | 68 | 70 |
| #3 | Uppa cs Natalia | +1.33 | 64 | 51 |
| #4 | wZade | +0.87 | 52 | 65 |
| #5 | Jimi Skutt #fuck7side #mway | -2.23 | 36 | 52 |





