








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 707 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 297 matches | ||
| Premier | 241 matches | ||
| Wingman | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




90 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6096 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,715 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4753 | 21% |
| Smokes | 6885 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6408 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4669 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,742,911 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1310 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sniffcock | 53% | 701 |
| #2 | Uppa cs Natalia | 52% | 179 |
| #3 | wZade | 52% | 245 |
| #4 | ede | 50% | 416 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sniffcock | 53% | 701 |
| #2 | Uppa cs Natalia | 52% | 179 |
| #3 | wZade | 52% | 245 |
| #4 | ede | 50% | 416 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ede | 111 | 0.0134 |
| #2 | Sniffcock | 92 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Uppa cs Natalia | 81 | 0.0226 |
| #4 | wZade | 44 | 0.0088 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sniffcock | 2531 | 0.19 | 59 min |
| #2 | ede | 2056 | 0.25 | 56 min |
| #3 | wZade | 518 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #4 | Uppa cs Natalia | 246 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sniffcock | +2.67 | 68 | 64 |
| #2 | ede | +2.32 | 68 | 70 |
| #3 | Uppa cs Natalia | +2.03 | 65 | 51 |
| #4 | wZade | +0.76 | 54 | 65 |
| #5 | Jimi Skutt #fuck7side #mway | -2.23 | 36 | 52 |





