








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1063 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,066 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1434 | 35% |
| Smokes | 820 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1045 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 767 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $145,280 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voltz | 72% | 99 |
| #2 | Futxbol | 68% | 62 |
| #3 | KINGV3RSACE | 67% | 120 |
| #4 | Dank | 59% | 29 |
| #5 | branna | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KINGV3RSACE | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Voltz | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Futxbol | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | branna | 2 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voltz | 322 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | KINGV3RSACE | 314 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | Futxbol | 142 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Dank | 113 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | sM1les | 28 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Futxbol | +5.09 | 79 | 60 |
| #2 | Voltz | +4.13 | 93 | 64 |
| #3 | sM1les | +3.03 | 86 | 50 |
| #4 | Dank | +0.25 | 67 | 51 |
| #5 | KINGV3RSACE | -0.65 | 71 | 56 |





