








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1271 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,205 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1011 | 32% |
| Smokes | 709 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 822 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 663 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $262,855 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ratmeat | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | Voltz | 59% | 41 |
| #3 | KINGV3RSACE | 58% | 43 |
| #4 | Futxbol | 54% | 68 |
| #5 | 65roses | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Futxbol | 54% | 68 |
| #5 | 65roses | 50% | 6 |
| #6 | sM1les | 44% | 9 |
| #7 | branna | 38% | 8 |
| #8 | Fonzera | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Futxbol | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Voltz | 5 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Ratmeat | 4 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | KINGV3RSACE | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | 65roses | 1 | 0.0095 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Futxbol | 181 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | Voltz | 145 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | KINGV3RSACE | 118 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Ratmeat | 91 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | 65roses | 32 | 0.30 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sM1les | +3.36 | 87 | 52 |
| #2 | Futxbol | +2.05 | 70 | 61 |
| #3 | Voltz | +1.72 | 89 | 63 |
| #4 | Dank | +0.29 | 69 | 53 |
| #5 | KINGV3RSACE | -0.80 | 74 | 55 |





