








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1839 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,378 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1693 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2068 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1463 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2154 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $353,164 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voltz | 70% | 148 |
| #2 | Ratmeat | 67% | 120 |
| #3 | Futxbol | 65% | 95 |
| #4 | 65roses | 64% | 14 |
| #5 | Dank | 58% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voltz | 14 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Futxbol | 9 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Ratmeat | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | branna | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | sM1les | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voltz | 506 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | Ratmeat | 406 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | Futxbol | 220 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | Dank | 179 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | sM1les | 116 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sM1les | +4.39 | 86 | 53 |
| #2 | Futxbol | +4.23 | 77 | 60 |
| #3 | Voltz | +3.94 | 93 | 63 |
| #4 | Dank | +0.54 | 69 | 51 |
| #5 | 65roses | +0.38 | 88 | 62 |





