








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 280 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 255 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2126 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,363 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 689 | 9% |
| Smokes | 1385 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1792 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3497 | 47% |
Our logs show you have wasted $441,584 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 182 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Rekkie | 35% | 60 |
| #7 | Checkers Sixty 60 | 32% | 31 |
| #8 | xulz | 32% | 19 |
| #9 | >RFA<♡<Beauty>♡ | 31% | 26 |
| #10 | Devastator ✌(ツ) | 23% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BakerMan™ | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Mr Hippo | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | >RFA<♡<Beauty>♡ | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Hikersbestfriend | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | CrappyS | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BakerMan™ | 164 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | xulz | 71 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | Rekkie | 52 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Devastator ✌(ツ) | 48 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mr Hippo | 42 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Hippo | +3.99 | 52 | 18 |
| #2 | xulz | +3.60 | 71 | 67 |
| #3 | Devastator ✌(ツ) | +2.18 | 60 | 82 |
| #4 | Rekkie | +1.33 | 52 | 41 |
| #5 | Checkers Sixty 60 | +0.20 | 30 | 27 |





