








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 570 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 989 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




423 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6255 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,796 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3377 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3155 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4475 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2789 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $603,807 of utility $29 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2260 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shift | 80% | 108 |
| #2 | Gordon ☢ Freesay | 72% | 76 |
| #3 | wrocław tweaker | 71% | 92 |
| #4 | Tuna | 70% | 67 |
| #5 | barrett | 70% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | barrett | 70% | 107 |
| #6 | .jib | 69% | 54 |
| #7 | Jimbob | 68% | 400 |
| #8 | JENS | 64% | 72 |
| #9 | yuri | 63% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jimbob | 49 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | shift | 21 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | barrett | 16 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | .jib | 14 | 0.0124 |
| #5 | wrocław tweaker | 13 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jimbob | 530 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #2 | yuri | 157 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Tuna | 136 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | JENS | 122 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Gordon ☢ Freesay | 121 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wrocław tweaker | +7.30 | 75 | 51 |
| #2 | Jimbob | +4.73 | 60 | 54 |
| #3 | yuri | +4.67 | 64 | 45 |
| #4 | Gordon ☢ Freesay | +4.59 | 57 | 65 |
| #5 | Tuna | +4.47 | 72 | 58 |





