








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3704 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,409 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2600 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1412 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 3252 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2145 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $582,739 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScuFFed | 62% | 109 |
| #2 | Parayeet | 62% | 47 |
| #3 | Sleep | 59% | 74 |
| #4 | kyuumoe | 58% | 26 |
| #5 | JustaGamerboi | 57% | 194 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Sleep | 59% | 74 |
| #4 | kyuumoe | 58% | 26 |
| #5 | JustaGamerboi | 57% | 194 |
| #6 | Zface | 54% | 35 |
| #7 | WaffleHouseCook | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JustaGamerboi | 21 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Parayeet | 11 | 0.0120 |
| #3 | kyuumoe | 9 | 0.0169 |
| #4 | ScuFFed | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Sleep | 8 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JustaGamerboi | 572 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | kyuumoe | 133 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #3 | ScuFFed | 81 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Parayeet | 74 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Sleep | 48 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Parayeet | +5.33 | 66 | 59 |
| #2 | The Rainmaker | +5.02 | 82 | 61 |
| #3 | WaffleHouseCook | +4.47 | 64 | 65 |
| #4 | ScuFFed | -0.26 | 39 | 32 |
| #5 | Sleep | -0.80 | 36 | 28 |





