








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 262 matches | ||
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3308 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,144 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2010 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3137 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2474 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2523 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,281,769 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JMac | 51% | 354 |
| #2 | Pietis | 50% | 179 |
| #3 | Juise | 48% | 218 |
| #4 | Tazp | 48% | 226 |
| #5 | BurgirEve | 43% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JMac | 51% | 354 |
| #2 | Pietis | 50% | 179 |
| #3 | Juise | 48% | 218 |
| #4 | Tazp | 48% | 226 |
| #5 | BurgirEve | 43% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JMac | 20 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Pietis | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Tazp | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Juise | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | BurgirEve | 5 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JMac | 1078 | 0.14 | 28 min |
| #2 | Juise | 493 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #3 | Tazp | 361 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #4 | Pietis | 205 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | BurgirEve | 118 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tazp | +0.74 | 65 | 59 |
| #2 | BurgirEve | +0.66 | 70 | 45 |
| #3 | JMac | +0.48 | 76 | 64 |
| #4 | Juise | +0.28 | 71 | 62 |
| #5 | henkk4 | -1.33 | 62 | 58 |





