








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 375 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 315 matches | ||
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5092 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,877 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6608 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5652 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4131 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3486 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,307,866 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | henkk4 | 51% | 354 |
| #2 | Juise | 49% | 310 |
| #3 | Pietis | 49% | 236 |
| #4 | Tazp | 48% | 263 |
| #5 | |ℬ| Count McX | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Juise | 49% | 310 |
| #3 | Pietis | 49% | 236 |
| #4 | Tazp | 48% | 263 |
| #5 | |ℬ| Count McX | 47% | 32 |
| #6 | BurgirEve | 46% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | henkk4 | 10 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Pietis | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Juise | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Tazp | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | BurgirEve | 5 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juise | 793 | 0.12 | 21 min |
| #2 | henkk4 | 423 | 0.05 | 10 min |
| #3 | Tazp | 421 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #4 | Pietis | 265 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #5 | BurgirEve | 140 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | |ℬ| Count McX | +1.15 | 77 | 63 |
| #2 | BurgirEve | +0.77 | 73 | 46 |
| #3 | Tazp | +0.73 | 65 | 58 |
| #4 | Juise | +0.49 | 72 | 61 |
| #5 | JMac | +0.16 | 76 | 65 |





