








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 105 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 173 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2248 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,411 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 924 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1987 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 963 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1537 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,185,787 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | henkk4 | 50% | 179 |
| #2 | Juise | 50% | 170 |
| #3 | JMac | 49% | 236 |
| #4 | Tazp | 49% | 154 |
| #5 | BurgirEve | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | henkk4 | 50% | 179 |
| #2 | Juise | 50% | 170 |
| #3 | JMac | 49% | 236 |
| #4 | Tazp | 49% | 154 |
| #5 | BurgirEve | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JMac | 12 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Tazp | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | henkk4 | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Juise | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | BurgirEve | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JMac | 699 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #2 | Juise | 459 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #3 | Tazp | 259 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | henkk4 | 223 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | BurgirEve | 53 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juise | +0.55 | 74 | 62 |
| #2 | Tazp | +0.47 | 63 | 62 |
| #3 | JMac | +0.31 | 76 | 66 |
| #4 | BurgirEve | +0.21 | 77 | 36 |
| #5 | henkk4 | -1.20 | 63 | 58 |





