








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
568 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,287 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 384 | 30% |
| Smokes | 367 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 254 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 282 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $210,754 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juise | 47% | 38 |
| #2 | JMac | 46% | 56 |
| #3 | Tazp | 44% | 45 |
| #4 | henkk4 | 43% | 47 |
| #5 | Pietis | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juise | 47% | 38 |
| #2 | JMac | 46% | 56 |
| #3 | Tazp | 44% | 45 |
| #4 | henkk4 | 43% | 47 |
| #5 | Pietis | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JMac | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Tazp | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | henkk4 | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Juise | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Pietis | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JMac | 172 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | Juise | 76 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Tazp | 75 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | henkk4 | 55 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Pietis | 40 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tazp | +1.34 | 64 | 55 |
| #2 | BurgirEve | +0.74 | 73 | 45 |
| #3 | Juise | +0.55 | 65 | 59 |
| #4 | JMac | -0.70 | 77 | 63 |
| #5 | Pietis | -1.43 | 68 | 42 |





