








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 300 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 171 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3576 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,236 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1236 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1373 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1428 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2199 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,385,922 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 621 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Richard | 58% | 81 |
| #2 | Stormzzyy | 51% | 110 |
| #3 | TTV/ShaggyPlays_ | 46% | 85 |
| #4 | ✪ drazaH | 44% | 180 |
| #5 | fatal | 43% | 305 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Richard | 20 | 0.0121 |
| #2 | dmg | 17 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | ✪ drazaH | 14 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | blackrosedying | 11 | 0.0108 |
| #5 | Stormzzyy | 8 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ drazaH | 734 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #2 | fatal | 556 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #3 | Stormzzyy | 439 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #4 | TTV/ShaggyPlays_ | 194 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | Richard | 168 | 0.10 | 3 min |





