








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 633 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4056 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,633 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3504 | 41% |
| Smokes | 2152 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1908 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1069 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,312,158 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1009 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Richard | 56% | 102 |
| #2 | El_chugester | 51% | 110 |
| #3 | TTV/ShaggyPlays_ | 50% | 135 |
| #4 | ✪ drazaH | 46% | 155 |
| #5 | fatal | 45% | 303 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Richard | 23 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | ✪ drazaH | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | El_chugester | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | TTV/ShaggyPlays_ | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | fatal | 3 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ drazaH | 717 | 0.23 | 16 min |
| #2 | fatal | 597 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #3 | TTV/ShaggyPlays_ | 369 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | Richard | 192 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | El_chugester | 83 | 0.04 | 2 min |





