










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 493 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1133 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,916 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 514 | 18% |
| Smokes | 655 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 672 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1075 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $789,399 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 315 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Turbo Tax | 217 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | phzaza | 66 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Doubledunkedballs | 49 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | JENNA TALES | 34 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | Herbert | 22 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herbert | +7.00 | 90 | 35 |
| #2 | ☯boe | +5.03 | 78 | 32 |
| #3 | phzaza | +3.96 | 64 | 72 |
| #4 | Turbo Tax | +2.61 | 45 | 53 |
| #5 | Adobe Bean Pro | +1.88 | 28 | 27 |





