








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 105 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
451 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 813 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 166 | 20% |
| Smokes | 154 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 270 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 223 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $190,743 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 171 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Templar | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | Thicc.God | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | Vazonite | 54% | 46 |
| #4 | monke | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | 964 | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | monke | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | 964 | 50% | 22 |
| #6 | voldN | 48% | 27 |
| #7 | TGWM | 42% | 19 |
| #8 | ♿⛟ | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | monke | 7 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | 964 | 5 | 0.0116 |
| #3 | Vazonite | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | ♿⛟ | 3 | 0.0375 |
| #5 | TGWM | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | monke | 63 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | voldN | 59 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Vazonite | 44 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | 964 | 33 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | TGWM | 32 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vazonite | +5.85 | 89 | 46 |
| #2 | Templar | +1.65 | 41 | 43 |
| #3 | monke | +1.43 | 78 | 36 |
| #4 | 964 | +1.06 | 71 | 44 |
| #5 | voldN | +0.58 | 88 | 42 |





