








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
270 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 933 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 356 | 38% |
| Smokes | 156 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 216 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 205 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $88,759 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alexeonder | 68% | 34 |
| #2 | PenisPär | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Farnik | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | Wσzard | 67% | 18 |
| #5 | богдан(買春) | 60% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alexeonder | 11 | 0.0170 |
| #2 | богдан(買春) | 7 | 0.0106 |
| #3 | Wσzard | 7 | 0.0217 |
| #4 | Zils🌸 | 1 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Farnik | 1 | 0.0152 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wσzard | +4.19 | 81 | 42 |
| #2 | alexeonder | +2.05 | 57 | 32 |
| #3 | Zils🌸 | +1.96 | 75 | 20 |
| #4 | богдан(買春) | +0.33 | 66 | 61 |
| #5 | Uzbäckistan | -0.96 | 41 | 53 |





