








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1969 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,927 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 211 | 5% |
| Smokes | 1342 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1161 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1213 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $739,054 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lycan | 32 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | Masuteri_ | 20 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | alexeonder | 12 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | Blue Punisher | 10 | 0.0141 |
| #5 | kubulajs | 9 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lycan | 475 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | богдан(買春) | 210 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | Wσzard | 124 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Blue Punisher | 123 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | alexeonder | 60 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wσzard | +4.13 | 81 | 55 |
| #2 | Lycan | +3.35 | 83 | 52 |
| #3 | Zils🌸 | +2.39 | 72 | 33 |
| #4 | MauroDaDrox | +0.40 | 64 | 47 |
| #5 | Masuteri_ | -0.47 | 36 | 33 |





