








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 44 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
906 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,920 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 766 | 40% |
| Smokes | 472 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 533 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 149 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $529,465 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lolo | 50% | 12 |
| #2 | HEHE~ Lapicus | 34% | 64 |
| #3 | ScribleSean | 32% | 50 |
| #4 | Poofi<3 | 29% | 51 |
| #5 | 小傻逼 | 29% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lolo | 50% | 12 |
| #2 | HEHE~ Lapicus | 34% | 64 |
| #3 | ScribleSean | 32% | 50 |
| #4 | Poofi<3 | 29% | 51 |
| #5 | 小傻逼 | 29% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 小傻逼 | 6 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | ScribleSean | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | HEHE~ Lapicus | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Poofi<3 | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScribleSean | 195 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | HEHE~ Lapicus | 76 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Poofi<3 | 48 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Lolo | 13 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | 小傻逼 | 9 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HEHE~ Lapicus | +4.28 | 74 | 61 |
| #2 | Lolo | +2.04 | 54 | 18 |
| #3 | ScribleSean | +0.39 | 66 | 50 |
| #4 | Poofi<3 | -0.75 | 51 | 43 |
| #5 | HarmlessHoney30 | -1.99 | 41 | 37 |





