








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 97 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1023 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,975 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 585 | 20% |
| Smokes | 878 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 701 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 811 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $244,066 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Lolo | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | ScribleSean | 39% | 54 |
| #5 | 小傻逼 | 39% | 83 |
| #6 | HEHE~ Lapicus | 34% | 64 |
| #7 | HarmlessHoney30 | 29% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScribleSean | 8 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | HEHE~ Lapicus | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | 小傻逼 | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | HarmlessHoney30 | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Platano | 1 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScribleSean | 210 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | HarmlessHoney30 | 68 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | HEHE~ Lapicus | 66 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | 小傻逼 | 26 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Platano | 17 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HEHE~ Lapicus | +4.25 | 77 | 63 |
| #2 | Platano | +3.14 | 74 | 30 |
| #3 | Lolo | +3.03 | 47 | 27 |
| #4 | ScribleSean | -0.13 | 69 | 49 |
| #5 | Poofi<3 | -1.29 | 56 | 44 |





