










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
234 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 206 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 92 | 45% |
| Smokes | 50 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 46 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 18 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $71,433 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HarmlessHoney30 | 50% | 12 |
| #2 | Poofi<3 | 43% | 7 |
| #3 | HEHE~ Lapicus | 38% | 8 |
| #4 | 小傻逼 | 33% | 6 |
| #5 | ScribleSean | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HarmlessHoney30 | 50% | 12 |
| #2 | Poofi<3 | 43% | 7 |
| #3 | HEHE~ Lapicus | 38% | 8 |
| #4 | 小傻逼 | 33% | 6 |
| #5 | ScribleSean | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HarmlessHoney30 | 2 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | HEHE~ Lapicus | 1 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | 小傻逼 | 1 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | ScribleSean | 1 | 0.0108 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScribleSean | 21 | 0.23 | 0 min |
| #2 | HarmlessHoney30 | 19 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #3 | HEHE~ Lapicus | 6 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | Poofi<3 | 6 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | 小傻逼 | 3 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HEHE~ Lapicus | +4.37 | 85 | 45 |
| #2 | Lolo | +3.68 | 63 | 26 |
| #3 | ScribleSean | -1.05 | 72 | 47 |
| #4 | 小傻逼 | -1.11 | 41 | 13 |
| #5 | Poofi<3 | -1.70 | 64 | 49 |





