










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 178 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1122 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,939 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 160 | 8% |
| Smokes | 767 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 521 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 491 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $747,169 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ScribleSean | 35% | 60 |
| #5 | PAkSnack | 32% | 22 |
| #6 | HEHE~ Lapicus | 31% | 67 |
| #7 | Selwynsg | 31% | 13 |
| #8 | HarmlessHoney30 | 29% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScribleSean | 229 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | Platano | 138 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Poofi<3 | 90 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | HarmlessHoney30 | 79 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | HEHE~ Lapicus | 69 | 0.05 | 2 min |





