








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2448 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,595 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 700 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1075 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 539 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 281 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $356,287 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 85 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ramfu | 287 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | Voodoo Daddy | 269 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | Assemb1ly | 78 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #4 | Type2Diabetes | 61 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Wiglum | 28 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Assemb1ly | +3.73 | 75 | 62 |
| #2 | 乃丨尺乃 | +1.97 | 69 | 31 |
| #3 | Ramfu | +1.88 | 58 | 57 |
| #4 | Voodoo Daddy | -0.89 | 26 | 45 |
| #5 | Type2Diabetes | -1.70 | 29 | 32 |





