








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 423 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 275 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3070 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,623 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3828 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3305 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2541 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2949 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $886,060 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 乃丨尺乃 | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | coldsoup | 55% | 141 |
| #3 | louey2k | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | Ramfu | 54% | 48 |
| #5 | ru | 54% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ru | 54% | 138 |
| #6 | Voodoo Daddy | 53% | 51 |
| #7 | davey | 53% | 89 |
| #8 | AceVoltage | 50% | 56 |
| #9 | Soup Jr. | 49% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | davey | 9 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | coldsoup | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | AceVoltage | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | ru | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Soup Jr. | 4 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ru | 482 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #2 | davey | 435 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #3 | coldsoup | 241 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | Soup Jr. | 184 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | Ramfu | 114 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ramfu | +1.45 | 55 | 64 |
| #2 | Assemb1ly | +0.74 | 75 | 61 |
| #3 | davey | +0.42 | 81 | 63 |
| #4 | ru | +0.24 | 53 | 70 |
| #5 | Soup Jr. | +0.24 | 58 | 55 |





