








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 486 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 314 matches | ||
| Wingman | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3513 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,364 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3007 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3482 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2413 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2462 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,980,259 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PETE | 55% | 154 |
| #2 | Augustín | 50% | 212 |
| #3 | :BARON: | 49% | 231 |
| #4 | Adis235 | 49% | 45 |
| #5 | bumbumbhdhf EXPLOSIVE MAN | 47% | 194 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Augustín | 50% | 212 |
| #3 | :BARON: | 49% | 231 |
| #4 | Adis235 | 49% | 45 |
| #5 | bumbumbhdhf EXPLOSIVE MAN | 47% | 194 |
| #6 | Xayah | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :BARON: | 28 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | Augustín | 12 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | bumbumbhdhf EXPLOSIVE MAN | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Adis235 | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Xayah | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :BARON: | 520 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | PETE | 486 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #3 | bumbumbhdhf EXPLOSIVE MAN | 421 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | Augustín | 165 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Xayah | 107 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Augustín | +3.56 | 90 | 44 |
| #2 | bumbumbhdhf EXPLOSIVE MAN | +1.36 | 75 | 51 |
| #3 | PETE | +1.25 | 76 | 62 |
| #4 | :BARON: | -0.26 | 64 | 48 |
| #5 | počkej, volá mi kráter! | -1.21 | 64 | 49 |





