








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 363 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 520 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5540 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,005 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5102 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4561 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3192 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2150 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $777,277 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PETE | 53% | 133 |
| #2 | Augustín | 50% | 38 |
| #3 | :BARON: | 48% | 124 |
| #4 | počkej, volá mi kráter! | 47% | 194 |
| #5 | Adis235 | 47% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PETE | 53% | 133 |
| #2 | Augustín | 50% | 38 |
| #3 | :BARON: | 48% | 124 |
| #4 | počkej, volá mi kráter! | 47% | 194 |
| #5 | Adis235 | 47% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :BARON: | 14 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | počkej, volá mi kráter! | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Adis235 | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Augustín | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PETE | 465 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | počkej, volá mi kráter! | 266 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | :BARON: | 228 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Adis235 | 55 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Augustín | 49 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Augustín | +2.07 | 90 | 47 |
| #2 | bumbumbhdhf EXPLOSIVE MAN | +1.55 | 69 | 50 |
| #3 | PETE | +1.22 | 76 | 61 |
| #4 | :BARON: | -0.37 | 64 | 47 |
| #5 | počkej, volá mi kráter! | -0.87 | 65 | 48 |





