








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 614 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,609 | |
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1946 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,268 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1932 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1437 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1598 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1301 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $642,236 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VoDka | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | Lapanen | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | ScaleCrow | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | pavlovinjuniorikassu | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | velipirinen | 56% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | PilluMies321 | 53% | 17 |
| #8 | ❤☠𝕵𝖔𝖘𝖘𝖚☠❤ | 53% | 19 |
| #9 | ☣Eijou88☣ | 48% | 52 |
| #10 | NoelPlink | 45% | 20 |
| #11 | Tankki | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoelPlink | 8 | 0.0239 |
| #2 | Lapanen | 4 | 0.0113 |
| #3 | ☣Eijou88☣ | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | velipirinen | 3 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | PilluMies321 | 3 | 0.0095 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☣Eijou88☣ | 195 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | TITTAANIKISSA | 51 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #3 | ScaleCrow | 40 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | NoelPlink | 39 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Tankki | 35 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PilluMies321 | +9.42 | 93 | 17 |
| #2 | TITTAANIKISSA | +7.05 | 64 | 78 |
| #3 | pavlovinjuniorikassu | +3.96 | 70 | 52 |
| #4 | WeedTasty | +2.82 | 67 | 61 |
| #5 | VoDka | -1.00 | 52 | 56 |





