








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1242 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 697 matches | ||
| Faceit | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 230 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




94 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7800 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,703 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5573 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5743 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6073 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5314 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,736,480 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1227 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pulse | 50% | 58 |
| #2 | MRwashiwashi | 47% | 79 |
| #3 | ☣Eijou88☣ | 45% | 551 |
| #4 | kILLER1 | 43% | 107 |
| #5 | WeedCunt | 43% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Iso ApEx | 41% | 107 |
| #9 | Kill-joy jr. | 39% | 85 |
| #10 | MiuMau | 38% | 112 |
| #11 | Taka | 37% | 103 |
| #12 | Daddy Cool | 34% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☣Eijou88☣ | 24 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | MiuMau | 18 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | ❤☠𝕵𝖔𝖘𝖘𝖚☠❤ | 15 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | WeedCunt | 11 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | kILLER1 | 9 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☣Eijou88☣ | 1851 | 0.16 | 36 min |
| #2 | kILLER1 | 822 | 0.36 | 19 min |
| #3 | MiuMau | 481 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #4 | FinJonu | 297 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #5 | WeedCunt | 294 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WeedCunt | +4.02 | 68 | 62 |
| #2 | kILLER1 | +2.12 | 58 | 63 |
| #3 | MiuMau | +1.83 | 56 | 56 |
| #4 | Kill-joy jr. | +0.53 | 25 | 38 |
| #5 | FinJonu | +0.22 | 19 | 78 |





