








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1524 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1305 matches | ||
| Faceit | 375 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 496 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10080 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 47,769 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4265 | 9% |
| Smokes | 10970 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 17332 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 15202 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,587,998 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 778 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WeedCunt | 49% | 105 |
| #2 | Kill-joy jr. | 48% | 343 |
| #3 | FinJonu | 46% | 260 |
| #4 | Iso ApEx | 45% | 352 |
| #5 | ApEx (FIN) | 43% | 335 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☣Eijou88☣ | 40 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | velipirinen | 24 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Kill-joy jr. | 21 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | sampsoni91 | 13 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | WeedCunt | 12 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☣Eijou88☣ | 4395 | 0.18 | 88 min |
| #2 | FinJonu | 831 | 0.15 | 22 min |
| #3 | kILLER1 | 791 | 0.35 | 18 min |
| #4 | velipirinen | 477 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #5 | WeedCunt | 468 | 0.21 | 9 min |





