








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 749 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 46 matches | ||
| Wingman | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




119 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5092 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,913 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6043 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3595 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3877 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3398 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $834,123 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 754 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | can't tap | 69% | 29 |
| #2 | Sayo | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | mariatchi | 58% | 36 |
| #4 | nicozoro | 56% | 32 |
| #5 | Bims | 53% | 51 |





