








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 325 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
882 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,092 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 199 | 18% |
| Smokes | 433 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 230 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 230 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $132,994 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 212 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xolar | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Shamblez | 48% | 64 |
| #3 | Soja Milch | 48% | 21 |
| #4 | Mushroom | 46% | 79 |
| #5 | her feetfanatic | 44% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Mushroom | 46% | 79 |
| #5 | her feetfanatic | 44% | 102 |
| #6 | notfreesocks | 44% | 25 |
| #7 | Agnes Thimbletweed | 28% | 18 |
| #8 | BigMike | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | her feetfanatic | 35 | 0.0169 |
| #2 | Mushroom | 12 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | notfreesocks | 5 | 0.0097 |
| #4 | Shamblez | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Soja Milch | 2 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | her feetfanatic | 267 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | Mushroom | 169 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Soja Milch | 47 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Agnes Thimbletweed | 46 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Xolar | 42 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soja Milch | +5.81 | 66 | 50 |
| #2 | her feetfanatic | +1.19 | 31 | 42 |
| #3 | EggyPonti | +0.81 | 65 | 22 |
| #4 | Xolar | +0.18 | 81 | 36 |
| #5 | Mushroom | +0.16 | 44 | 42 |





