








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 438 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1017 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,640 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 591 | 36% |
| Smokes | 332 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 235 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 482 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $590,153 of utility $244 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 147 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xolar | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Soja Milch | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | yaeoaix | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | her feetfanatic | 46% | 104 |
| #5 | EggyPonti | 46% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | her feetfanatic | 46% | 104 |
| #5 | EggyPonti | 46% | 79 |
| #6 | Shamblez | 44% | 80 |
| #7 | notfreesocks | 35% | 17 |
| #8 | Agnes Thimbletweed | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | her feetfanatic | 30 | 0.0144 |
| #2 | EggyPonti | 26 | 0.0162 |
| #3 | notfreesocks | 4 | 0.0113 |
| #4 | Shamblez | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Soja Milch | 2 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | her feetfanatic | 272 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | EggyPonti | 65 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | Soja Milch | 39 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Xolar | 37 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #5 | Agnes Thimbletweed | 34 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soja Milch | +4.29 | 63 | 61 |
| #2 | Xolar | +3.19 | 81 | 33 |
| #3 | her feetfanatic | +1.40 | 33 | 42 |
| #4 | EggyPonti | +0.88 | 62 | 22 |
| #5 | Mushroom | -0.18 | 47 | 39 |





