










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
109 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 442 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10 | 2% |
| Smokes | 9 | 2% |
| HE Grenades | 242 | 55% |
| Molotovs | 181 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $120,700 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soja Milch | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Xolar | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | her feetfanatic | 46% | 26 |
| #4 | EggyPonti | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | Mushroom | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Xolar | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | her feetfanatic | 46% | 26 |
| #4 | EggyPonti | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | Mushroom | 35% | 17 |
| #6 | Shamblez | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | her feetfanatic | 11 | 0.0204 |
| #2 | EggyPonti | 7 | 0.0137 |
| #3 | Shamblez | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Mushroom | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Xolar | 1 | 0.0154 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | her feetfanatic | 88 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | Mushroom | 36 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Xolar | 18 | 0.28 | 0 min |
| #4 | EggyPonti | 17 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | Soja Milch | 15 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soja Milch | +10.94 | 72 | 56 |
| #2 | Xolar | +3.76 | 73 | 34 |
| #3 | EggyPonti | +3.00 | 67 | 22 |
| #4 | her feetfanatic | +1.27 | 24 | 62 |
| #5 | Mushroom | -0.49 | 43 | 42 |





