










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
959 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,731 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1500 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1106 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1344 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 781 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $549,271 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shamblez | 38% | 32 |
| #2 | Soja Milch | 37% | 46 |
| #3 | her feetfanatic | 34% | 83 |
| #4 | Mushroom | 33% | 12 |
| #5 | EggyPonti | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shamblez | 38% | 32 |
| #2 | Soja Milch | 37% | 46 |
| #3 | her feetfanatic | 34% | 83 |
| #4 | Mushroom | 33% | 12 |
| #5 | EggyPonti | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | her feetfanatic | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | EggyPonti | 7 | 0.0197 |
| #3 | Soja Milch | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Shamblez | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Mushroom | 2 | 0.0085 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | her feetfanatic | 109 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | Soja Milch | 62 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Mushroom | 16 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | EggyPonti | 14 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | Shamblez | 2 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soja Milch | +2.42 | 65 | 49 |
| #2 | Agnes Thimbletweed | -0.65 | 34 | 58 |
| #3 | EggyPonti | -1.68 | 59 | 22 |
| #4 | Mushroom | -1.85 | 35 | 39 |
| #5 | her feetfanatic | -2.29 | 21 | 29 |





