








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1079 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 382 matches | ||
| Wingman | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7370 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,198 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5748 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3605 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3680 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4165 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,039,220 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2082 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OkayBlade | 64% | 59 |
| #2 | blehblehbleh | 63% | 38 |
| #3 | Diesel | 61% | 108 |
| #4 | RaidenCP | 60% | 50 |
| #5 | ⛴THE Onion Miser⛴ (XM CHAD) | 58% | 342 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | blehblehbleh | 63% | 38 |
| #3 | Diesel | 61% | 108 |
| #4 | RaidenCP | 60% | 50 |
| #5 | ⛴THE Onion Miser⛴ (XM CHAD) | 58% | 342 |
| #6 | OnionMaster777 | 54% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛴THE Onion Miser⛴ (XM CHAD) | 180 | 0.0289 |
| #2 | OnionMaster777 | 63 | 0.0301 |
| #3 | Diesel | 23 | 0.0111 |
| #4 | RaidenCP | 13 | 0.0142 |
| #5 | OkayBlade | 9 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛴THE Onion Miser⛴ (XM CHAD) | 138 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #2 | Diesel | 133 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | OkayBlade | 74 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | RaidenCP | 74 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | OnionMaster777 | 26 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zalty | +7.25 | 86 | 62 |
| #2 | RaidenCP | +4.47 | 83 | 44 |
| #3 | Diesel | +2.18 | 60 | 43 |
| #4 | OkayBlade | -0.16 | 73 | 47 |
| #5 | ⛴THE Onion Miser⛴ (XM CHAD) | -1.62 | 26 | 21 |





