








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
199 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 436 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 180 | 41% |
| Smokes | 62 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 73 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 121 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $14,880 of utility $17 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Valencia | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | TallA$$Boi | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | King Balls II | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | MLGLuigi64 | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | Bri'ish Peter Griffin | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kIMSURRO | 10 | 0.0275 |
| #2 | Valencia | 5 | 0.0126 |
| #3 | TallA$$Boi | 4 | 0.0108 |
| #4 | ja | 4 | 0.0115 |
| #5 | MLGLuigi64 | 4 | 0.0129 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Valencia | 92 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #2 | kIMSURRO | 84 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #3 | ja | 45 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Bri'ish Peter Griffin | 38 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #5 | MLGLuigi64 | 35 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Valencia | +13.13 | 91 | 75 |
| #2 | kIMSURRO | +7.62 | 87 | 70 |
| #3 | ja | +3.54 | 73 | 46 |
| #4 | Bri'ish Peter Griffin | +1.54 | 64 | 46 |
| #5 | Shakti1 | -0.21 | 68 | 31 |





