








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
459 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 594 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 217 | 37% |
| Smokes | 121 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 101 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 155 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $199,811 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Mr_Neamhni | 40% | 15 |
| #8 | ja | 37% | 19 |
| #9 | MLGLuigi64 | 30% | 10 |
| #10 | BigJoe | 25% | 8 |
| #11 | kIMSURRO | 21% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kIMSURRO | 12 | 0.0315 |
| #2 | Valencia | 8 | 0.0140 |
| #3 | TallA$$Boi | 6 | 0.0093 |
| #4 | ja | 6 | 0.0160 |
| #5 | MLGLuigi64 | 4 | 0.0185 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Valencia | 127 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #2 | Bri'ish Peter Griffin | 119 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | kIMSURRO | 70 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | ja | 63 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | King Balls II | 51 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Valencia | +11.04 | 90 | 72 |
| #2 | kIMSURRO | +7.02 | 81 | 59 |
| #3 | ja | +3.98 | 76 | 60 |
| #4 | Bri'ish Peter Griffin | +1.10 | 73 | 45 |
| #5 | King Balls II | -1.33 | 29 | 53 |





