








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 161 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 169 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1776 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,565 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 533 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1267 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1776 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 989 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $938,216 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1337 hax0r | 55% | 20 |
| #2 | Broman | 50% | 64 |
| #3 | Bo Chandler | 48% | 31 |
| #4 | Goobert | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | Bobbyxm | 43% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Goobert | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | Bobbyxm | 43% | 60 |
| #6 | Chet Fox | 43% | 148 |
| #7 | FoReVeR | 42% | 33 |
| #8 | Luch | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chet Fox | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Broman | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Bobbyxm | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | FoReVeR | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Bo Chandler | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chet Fox | 311 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | Broman | 109 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | FoReVeR | 95 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Bobbyxm | 85 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bo Chandler | 51 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FoReVeR | +3.52 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | Greasy Milkman | +0.86 | 66 | 41 |
| #3 | Broman | -0.01 | 44 | 46 |
| #4 | Chet Fox | -0.25 | 49 | 51 |
| #5 | 1337 hax0r | -1.63 | 27 | 40 |





