








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 336 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 344 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 160 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3220 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,608 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3844 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5504 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4476 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2784 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $920,237 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 134 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FoReVeR | 46% | 143 |
| #2 | Broman | 44% | 134 |
| #3 | Greasy Milkman | 43% | 148 |
| #4 | Bobbyxm | 39% | 79 |
| #5 | Bo Chandler | 37% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Greasy Milkman | 43% | 148 |
| #4 | Bobbyxm | 39% | 79 |
| #5 | Bo Chandler | 37% | 60 |
| #6 | 1337 hax0r | 33% | 33 |
| #7 | Goobert | 26% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Greasy Milkman | 17 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | FoReVeR | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Bobbyxm | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Broman | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Bo Chandler | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FoReVeR | 404 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | Broman | 242 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | Bobbyxm | 115 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Greasy Milkman | 101 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | Bo Chandler | 96 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FoReVeR | +4.14 | 81 | 65 |
| #2 | Greasy Milkman | +1.13 | 66 | 42 |
| #3 | Chet Fox | -0.42 | 50 | 50 |
| #4 | Broman | -0.48 | 42 | 45 |
| #5 | Bo Chandler | -1.17 | 26 | 50 |





